Individual Essay (Final Version)

REPÚBLICA BOLIVARIANA DE VENEZUELA
MINISTERIO DE EDUCACIÓN SUPERIOR
UNIVERSIDAD PEDAGÓGICA EXPERIMENTAL LIBERTADOR
INSTITUTO PEDAGÓGICO "RAFAEL ALBERTO ESCOBAR LARA"

Making an Acceptable Decision.

It is known that the idea of living together before marriage has been always a taboo among many people who believe that they are still living in the last century, and still consider it is a fact that could go against popular beliefs in this society, but what is needed to be taken into account is that cohabitating before marriage can provide couples opportunities to explore what marriage involves. Here, it is necessary to ask , what does marriage mean? Couples are inclined to believe that the only thing they need to have a good marrige is love, but what they do not realize is that the word marriage goes further than being in love; it implies cohabitating, respecting, and sharing. It is said that couples do not know enough about each other until they start living together, and this can be one of the main reasons why people who get married and start to cohabitate after it, fall into an annoying relationship. Therefore, couples should live together before marriage in order to know more about each other.

One of the biggest problems couples face is to wait until they are married to realize that they do not have anything in common; in the Inca’s culture, couples had to live together during a period of time before getting married for them to know whether they were compatible or not. If they agreed in what they had just lived together, they could get married[1]. On the other hand, according to David Popenoe, Professor of Sociology and Co-Director, National Marriage Project, Rutgers University: “Those who live together before marriage have unhappier marriages and it can kill the romance” But, Would you marry someone who you were not compatible with? On the contrary, those who live together before marriage have the opportunity of not to do it if they feel that their relationship is not working out. Moreover, it is normal to get confused when at first sight people assume they have fallen in love, and what they do not know is that there is a huge difference between having an affair with someone as long as love is alive, and sharing their whole life with a partner accepting also their weaknesses.

In Venezuelan culture, it is not a secret that church consider that couples should not live together before marriage in order to avoid having sexual relations, and in this way, continue the tradition of getting married being virgin, or what means the same, have sexual relations just after marriage. However, it is necessary for society to update church on the fact that sex represents a very useful tool for couples to know whether they are compatible or not. On the other hand, there are many people related to church that support the idea of living together before marriage, for instance: according to Ansel Oliver, more than the third part of young christian people who were interviewed in Brittany said: “Cohabitating before marriage is necessary for the couple”[2]. It does not mean that those people who have decided to live together do not want to follow anymore their beliefs in God; in fact, there are too many women who still have the dream of seeing themselves wearing white on their wedding’s day, and who still desire to think that marriage will last for ever; but instead of that, they just want to try cohabitating to know if their couples are the best choice and to avoid a future desillusion.

Living together before marriage brings lots of benefits to the couple; appart from guarantee them that they are going to be able to make marriage easier, it also helps them to save money for future plans, such as their wedding party, honey moon, and even their next home. Moreover, it is also important that during the transition of cohabitating before marriage, couples should live neither with the boyfriend’s family nor with the girlfriend’s one. It is typical in Venezuelan culture that couples move with their families, and it represents an obstacle that could perturb couples relationship; they should have their own space for them to avoid third people meddling in their relationship. Moreover, it would be easier, and require less work for the couple, to move into a space that one partner has previously occupied, so they will not have to spend money on renting a place to live.

Even if you are against or not the idea of cohabitating before marriage, the point is to think why people make this topic as controversial as if it were a sin. Moreover, this is another time when young couples prefer to live together before to make a mistake they could regret about. Couples need to discover if they are compatible or not, and they can do it if they try linving together before they get married.

Author:
Stephanie Pérez I.D.: 17.570.260
Prof. Manuel Adrián Arrioja
Prof. Diana Feliciano