"First Draft"
"I was never told about sex before" said Vanessa Guzman, a twelve year old girl from El Limón-Maracay, when she was asked the reason why she had decided to have a sexual relation. Her parentes said that they had not talked to her about sex because they consider it as an embarrassment and a topic very complex to explain at this age. It is known that sometimes it can be difficult for parents to know when to talk about sex to their children, but what they have to take into account is that sex education has to start at home, before the young people reach the puberty and after they have developed patterns of behavior, and parents have to provide their children opportunities to ask questions when they have them. Vanessa asked the wrong person and now she is pregnant. For this reason parents should talk openly to their children about sex before they reach the puberty, but after they have developed patterns of behavior.
"Final Version"
“I was never told about sex before” said Vanessa Guzman, a twelve-year-old girl from El Limon-Maracay, when she was asked the reason why she had decided to have a sexual relation. Her parents said that they had not talked to her about sex because they thought she was not ready to hear about this complex, and for them, embarrassing topic, but what they did not take into account was that she was about to reach the puberty, and that was the best age to start. On the other hand, Vanessa said that she always tried to ask her parents about sex, but they never provided her opportunities to make questions related to sex when she had them; that was why she decided to search for information everywhere except her own home. Vanessa asked the wrong person and now she is pregnant. Therefore, parents should talk openly about sex to their girls before they reach puberty and after they have developed patterns of behavior.
Elaborated By:
Pérez Stephanie
Rojas Mayerlyn
Sánchez Fernando
Rengifo Nasha
Reading and Writing 1
Prof.: Manuel Arrioja
Elaborated By:
Pérez Stephanie
Rojas Mayerlyn
Sánchez Fernando
Rengifo Nasha
Reading and Writing 1
Prof.: Manuel Arrioja
Prof.: Diana Feliciano
1 comentario:
Good grammar and structure but we think you finish the topic at the end of the paragraph; we mean, your introductory paragraph doesn't give reader the opportunity to follow because you ended the topic, it's like you made all the essay.
Posted by:
Camargo Marbis
Baena Vanessa
Rodriguez Yioana
Zambrano Eduardo
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